A Moth in the Garden
It is only noon
when the moth
makes its way in here.
The Garden of mind
is this garden here.
I wake from my nap
when I hear its wings.
I hear paradise,
when I hear its wings.
Like angel voices,
when I hear its wings.
I look toward it
and it taunts right back.
Its eyes soon meet mine.
It is a crystal
on a garden leaf.
I want to catch it.
With strain and void strife,
I leap for that moth.
An aura of fear,
surrounds the creature.
I feel its laced wings
on my finger tips,
as it flies away.
My pupils follow
the path that it takes.
And painful droplets
slide right down my cheek.
It one past noon.
It is only noon
when the moth
makes its way in here.
The Garden of mind
is this garden here.
I wake from my nap
when I hear its wings.
I hear paradise,
when I hear its wings.
Like angel voices,
when I hear its wings.
I look toward it
and it taunts right back.
Its eyes soon meet mine.
It is a crystal
on a garden leaf.
I want to catch it.
With strain and void strife,
I leap for that moth.
An aura of fear,
surrounds the creature.
I feel its laced wings
on my finger tips,
as it flies away.
My pupils follow
the path that it takes.
And painful droplets
slide right down my cheek.
It one past noon.
favorite line
ReplyDelete"My pupils follow
the path that it takes."
I like this line.I actually really did like your poem.The way you wrote it , it i understood it in a way.Either way i like this poem.
"I feel its laced wings
ReplyDeleteon my finger tips,
as it flies away."
I like this line, I can picture it. The heart I got out of it was "you always want what you cant have". I'm not sure if that's your exact meaning behind this poem but that's what I got out of it.
Favorite line: It is only noon.
ReplyDeleteIt starts off the poem like "ohhh this is gonna be good :) "
I like how you speak of a moth and its wings as if its a beautiful creature. But when we picture moths we think of them as the drop dead ugly wanna be butterflies! butterflies are pretty but in this poem i like how you tried to bring out the beauty in the the moth. I wished you would have talked about the moth's colors. I don't like that stanza where you repeated "wings" every other line. It was like all you focused on was the wings. And i didnt get the garden of mind thing. I thought that it meant that in your mind, good things can happen such as the beauty of the moth coming along and so can bad things such as fearing the moth. Over all i kinda liked it
I dont understand this poem. . . its good the way it flows, but the main meaning ? i dont get it . Wheni read this poem several things came to mind, but when i thought about it, ir reall ydidnt make sense. Like is it suppose to obvious, or is it something deeper ?
ReplyDeleteI think moths are alone so thats where i got that from. I think the moth is a person and its the things they do alone #FOREVERALONE. If im wrong =0 but thats what i thought
ReplyDeleteI like this poem but I don't really understand the meaning of it. I like the imagary you gave because I could see the scenery clearly. I also think the style you wrote it in was very good. I really liked your repetition too. :)
ReplyDelete"I wake from my nap
ReplyDeletewhen I hear its wings.
I hear paradise,
when I hear its wings.
Like angel voices,
when I hear its wings."
This poem is interesting, I like the way it is written but i dont know if there is something deeper within the poem that I should be picking up on.
Favorite Line: " leap for that moth.
ReplyDeleteAn aura of fear,
surrounds the creature"
This poem twas a weird one. Thou did not understand thy heart. Tis' the imagery was phenomenal. Picturing thy moth, and how it moved, and how it sounded; even shows its emotion! Im sure if the poem has deeper meaning to it, I seem to lack in poetic comprehension ever since I took one right in the knee.
"And painful droplets
ReplyDeleteslide right down my cheek."
I love the imagery you used in that line instead of just saying a tear came down your cheek. I don't know the deeper meaning if there is.